Tuesday, 22 November 2016

REFLECTION.


As I type these words, all I can feel is gratitude. I'm grateful for what this year has brought. This year may be soon drawing to a close, but that doesn't mean all the good that this year has brought will come to an end. I am so thankful for all my past experiences that have carried me here today. Yes, there's been a lot of sadness in the past, but I feel like it's made me stronger. It's helped me bond with all of you, my blog readers, and people who still seem to care about an odd female writer who enjoys cups of tea, talking about the real world, and sometimes escaping it. I am thankful you are all still you, still wonderful enough to read my sometimes solemn, sometimes boring posts. 

2016 truly has been the best year in my life, for so many reasons. There are so many memories and so many people that I am thankful to have and to know. I've travelled more this year than I have in 7 years, I went to Disney Land Paris with one of my best friends, I flew to Greece by myself and overcame my fear of flying, saw the snowy mountains of Albania as I flew across them, I attended my first ever YouTube event, and met people that I idolize. I've seen and caught up with friends that I've known for many years, spent time with new friends from university whom I met last year. I turned 21, which still doesn't sound right, I feel older but I guess age is just a number, right? I saw two family members whom I haven't seen in 11 years and stayed with them, and was reminded that I do have ohana. Saw two more family members that I hadn't seen since my Grandma (Nanama) died, and although I still miss her, I don't feel so alone anymore, because I know she's looking out for me from wherever she is.  I've had more laughs with my best friend Courtney this year, we've been out, seen other friends, danced till the music ended and been our regular, happy selves. 2016 has been incredible. It's changed my life and opened my eyes and really, I'm truly happy.



I'm not going anywhere, don't worry. I'm still here. Still here to remind you that you matter. Even when it feels like your world is crumbling down, and you feel like your breath is leaving your body, please don't give up. There is hope, I do promise you that. I want you to remember how unique and how special you are, and how you've still got to make your mark on this life, and you know what? I know you can do it, and I know you will, so please, don't for a moment give into those demons, those dark thoughts that come creeping into your mind at night and try to suffocate your happiness. Please don't give into that darkness, because you're better than that. You're stronger than that. I know you. And I believe in you. I have every faith that you can overcome any obstacle, no matter how hard it may seem, you can do it. Remember that, okay? So the next time you feel worthless, alone, unloved or afraid, remember that I believe in you. 

You are wonderful. Never forget that.

Your friend, and writer,

Samantha.

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